Things we all miss care to chat

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This post is in partnership with Inc. The article below was originally published at Inc. Want to win friends and influence people? Small, irritating things, but basically no big deal? Act like the people around you have more urgent needs than yours and you will never go wrong—and you will definitely be liked. Yet nobody talks to him. Or even seems to notice him. We all do it. We breeze right by the technicians and talk to the guy who booked us to speak, even though the techs are the ones who make us look and sound good onstage. Or smile. Or gasp! Just act like people exist.

You ask for too much. You politely decline. He asks again. You decline again. Then he whips out the Need Card. You have to. I really need [it]. Maybe you do, in fact, really need [it]. But your needs are your problem. People tend to help people who first help themselves. People tend to help people who first help them. And people definitely befriend people who look out for other people first, because we all want more of those people in our lives.

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You ignore people in genuine need. They need a hand: a few dollars, some decent food, a warm coat.

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You ask a question so you can talk. Only ask a question if you genuinely want to know the answer. Maybe the line is too long. Say you really are somebody. We know you march to the beat of your own drum. You mistake self-deprecation for permission.

Like receding hairlines. A struggling business or career. Your spouse and. Never assume people who make fun of themselves give you permission to poke the same fun at them. Only tease when you know it will be taken in the right spirit.

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Otherwise, if you feel the need to be funny, make fun of yourself. You humblebrag. Humblebragging is a form of bragging that tries to cover the brag with a veneer of humility so you can brag without appearing to brag. Before you brag—humbly or not, business or personal—think about your audience.

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Let others brag for you. You push your opinions. You know things. Cool things. Great things. But only share them in the right settings.

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Unless we ask. Like most things in life, offering helpful advice is all about picking your spots—just like winning friends and influencing people. from Inc. at letters time. Getty Images. By Jeff Haden. Related Stories. Already a print subscriber? Go here to link your subscription. Need help? Visit our Help Center. Go here to connect your wallet.

Things we all miss care to chat

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